Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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