ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
