I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
