Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
