I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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