and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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