do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
