I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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