How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
foreskin is a definite game changer
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
