The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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