My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
