But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
me + whiskey = a bad person
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
