wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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