he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize