so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh god was she eating orange peels again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
