Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
