the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
