So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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