I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize