when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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