Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
