it wasn't lemon gatorade
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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