I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
