apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
