He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
