I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Will you blow on my dice?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
