True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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