All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
