I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
