allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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