I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize