u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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