It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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