3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
