'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize