Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
