Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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