Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My feet surprised me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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