Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
