I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
