Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
