Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
