I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
