I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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