Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
