Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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