can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
