I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
