Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I did not marry a roomba.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
