Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
