i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
