My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just cut my nipple shaving
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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