Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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