Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
