Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize