I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize