$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Houston, we have a blender
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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