I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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