I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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