It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
