dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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