Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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