He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
