ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
