i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
