you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
