evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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