"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize