What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
