i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
did you just send me my own nude
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
