You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
